The Art of Letting Go
by Willow Breeze the first
Summary: Weddings are a time of happiness and when your brother gets married you should be happy for him, especially when the husband is one of your best friends and they really love each other. For Erin, though that's hard.


"You may kiss the groom!" Yelled Francis gleefully. Alfred grinned leaned in towards Arthur. The guests cheered and applauded. Erin smiled and clapped her hands together so hard they were stinging. Alfred emerged from the kiss with an idiotic grin on his face and Arthur straightened his ruffled collar. Erin watched the two of them. The two men she loved most in the world. She knew her brother well and this was the happiest she'd seen Arthur in a long time. Alfred made him really happy. Alfred caught Erin's eye and flashed her a smile and Erin responded likewise.

The guests moved out across the reception, sampling food and wine, chatting. Erin tried to join in, beaming at everyone, but it was hard. She joined in the laughter at some of Alfred's more inept dancing. His dancing really was quite awful, it always had been. It hadn't improved even a little bit since they'd first met.

Erin first met Alfred at some party in college. She had no idea who invited her or why and it wasn't important, it was a party and Erin liked parties. The music had been overpoweringly loud and she didn't recognise anyone. She'd been at the party for a while and was considering leaving when Alfred came into the room and Erin's heart went boom. She tried to catch his eye from the side of the room. The music was at top volume and Alfred began dancing. People gave him a wide birth after he kicked someone in the shin and Erin decided to put him out of his misery by tapping him on the shoulder and giving him a grin. "Hey!" The music was too loud for either of them to hear the other and they'd resorted to charades for communication. They could have moved outside but in her alcohol addled mind the logical solution to the deafening noise never presented itself.

"Dance, Erin!" One of her cousins said happily taking one of Erin's hands, jerking her back to the present. Arthur had peeled away from Alfred and was talking to her Mum who was crying with joy and kept mumbling about her little boy being all grown up. "Sure, why not." She laughed and gave her cousin a wink and let him drag her onto the dance floor. She gave a sweep of the room, Alfred was happily chattering away to his friend. Erin vaguely recognised the short, dark haired man. She'd probably seen him at the coffee shop she'd worked at during college.

That was where she met Alfred for the second time. Erin had been manning the counter, acting as head barista and looking after the customers', frankly bizarre, requests when Alfred came in. Hurtled in perhaps would have been a better description as he threw himself through the door and sprinted past the occupied tables. "I'll have a double espresso with a spoon of cinnamon!" He yelled before he even made it to the counter when he reached it he grabbed the wood to prevent himself from falling over from his momentum. His golden hair was wild and messy and his clothes were dishevelled as though he'd been running hard. Erin had been quite amused. She'd wanted to meet up with that golden boy from the party but hadn't quite imagined it going like this.

"I think you'll need some water and maybe a comb." Erin grinned at him and Alfred flushed, suddenly realising how messy his hair was. He raised one hand up to try to flatten his hair then stopped. "Well you can't really talk, your hair's pretty messy."

Erin fingered her short, choppy hair. "Ah but for me it's deliberate."

Alfred gave her a sly smile. "What? Looking like you haven't touched a brush in three weeks?" Erin clutched her heart in mock hurt. "Oh no! You find me out; I'm just too lazy to tame it. What ever shall I do now you know my secret?" They shared a smile and Erin's heart did a little dance as they stared into each other's eyes- it was interrupted by the coffee machine announcing the drink was ready.

Erin turned, grabbed the cup and dumped a pile of cinnamon in it. Alfred handed over a fiver. "Keep the change." He turned and was about to go sit down before turning back and asking, "That was a pretty good party, wasn't it?" He was blushing. It was really sweet.

"Oh yeah! It was great. Glad I got to meet ya." Erin said, testing the waters.

"Yeah" Alfred kept blushing. "I don't really remember too much so I hope I didn't do anything too, uh, weird."

"Don't you worry, with a family as weird as mine, it takes a lot to freak me out." She reassured him.

He visibly relaxed, the tension seeping out of his body as though a dam had been opened allowing the worry out. "Oh thank God. I was kinda worried." He grinned; he seemed to do that a lot. "It's Erin, right?"

"Yep, it's Alfred, right?" Erin said, popping the 'yep'.

"Yep" Alfred said, mimicking her. He then gave her a mock salute and sat down at an empty table.

The reception really did have good food. The fancy cakes were loaded with sugar and Erin loved it. It was probably a compromise between Alfred's love of sweet food and Arthur's air of sophistication. 'Those two' Erin mused, to herself 'are polar opposites in so many ways.' Their relationship shouldn't have worked out and when they'd first met they couldn't stand each other.

Erin couldn't blame Alfred for not liking Arthur, her brother had a history of rubbing people the wrong way. She'd complained to Alfred on many occasions about her stuck up, obnoxiously smart, robotic sibling. Alfred always laughed when she told him stories about the times Arthur deliberately took the last biscuit or hogged the bathroom and how she always retaliated by hiding his toys. That had been when they were young; their games of revenge had increased in scale until their parents sent them both to different boarding schools. All that had achieved was give Arthur validation for his opinions that he was the smartest boy in the country.

She shouldn't be thinking about things so negatively. It was a happy day, a party in fact. Erin loved parties so she could stick it out and the next day and the next day until…

Until what?

What awaited her in the future?

"-rin, Erin" Someone was poking her face. She swatted away the hand.

"Stop that."

"Aha, I got your attention now!" Alfred grinned down at her. He was a full head taller than her. "Man, you were really lost in thought." He grew serious. "You okay?" He asked quietly.

Erin cocked a grin. " 'Course I'm okay. It's your wedding why would I not be okay? I think it's you that should be concerned after all now you've got me as your sister!"

Alfred pretended to be horrified and cried "No! I didn't realise. The horror, the horror."

Erin laughed and slapped his arm. "Alright hot stuff, go play nice with my brother and his friends."

"Yes, ma'am!" He saluted and sped off through the crowd, people being inexplicably drawn to him, the same way asteroids were to a planet.

Alfred always had a talent for attracting people, they just gravitated to him. Erin could count on one hand how many times she'd seen Alfred without at least one friend.

He was almost crying. Erin hadn't been quite sure what to do, they'd been friends for several months now and Erin didn't know what the magic words to make him feel better were. Erin had taken him back to her apartment, given him a drink and let him cry. Eventually he managed to whisper a question. "Am I wrong?"

"Oh Alfred" Erin murmured, she sat down beside him and wrapped her arm around him. "Nothing about you is wrong. Don't ever think that."

He sniffed and took off his glasses as though to polish them. His eyes were so blue, it was like the sky you could glimpse through the clouds.

"-I'm gay."

It took a moment for Erin's brain to restart. Gay. Alfred. Alfred was gay. Gay. Was he just trying to let her down? No he wasn't. Alfred didn't notice anything. Gay. What was the right thing to do?

Erin realised Alfred was staring at her, waiting for her reaction. Erin smiled reassuringly at him. "That's fine. There's nothing wrong with that."

The music changed from the upbeat pop that had been playing to a din of violins, the traditional dances were starting. Alfred and Arthur took to the floor; with Arthur making sure Alfred didn't stand on anyone's feet. Franis tapped Erin on the shoulder and gestured to the dance floor. Erin realised that as head bridesmaid she'd have to dance with the bestman, Francis. She took his hand and let him lead her onto the dance floor. She watched Alfred and Arthur dance.

It was quite amusing that they'd fallen in love, in something straight out of a Shakespearean comedy, they'd both heard of the other from Erin and decided that they couldn't stand the other, Alfred thought that Arthur sounded too uptight and a stick in the mud, whereas Arthur thought that Alfred sounded insufferable and irresponsible so when they'd finally met they hadn't gotten off to the best start. Then they'd kept meeting and meeting and eventually, with a little outside help, they started dating.

Alfred had come to tell her, almost as though he was asking permission. It was cute. He even delivered a small speech about how much he loved her brother and how Arthur made him feel so happy. Erin had almost expected him to propose on the first date. That evening while Alfred and Arthur were eating a fancy dinner, Erin got drunk.

"Ow!" Hissed Francis as Erin stood on his foot. "Sorry." As soon as the song was over Erin detached herself from the dancing and watched the best man effortlessly pick up a new dance partner. Erin shook herself. Normally she was a good dancer, she needed to stop getting distracted but it was hard to not reminisce. Erin picked up a wine glass from a passing waiter and downed it.

Erin wouldn't say she had an alcohol issue but she wasn't exactly unfamiliar to drinking. She'd been doing it more since Alfred and Arthur started dating. Sometimes it was because she'd seen the pair of them together and Arthur and Alfred looked so happy and the voice in the back of Erin's head, the voice she always tried to ignore, whispered that she could always break them up, it would be easy what with Arthur's hot-temper and Alfred's naivety. But she couldn't do that to her brother.

She couldn't do it to Alfred.

Her brother in law.

That was a weird thought. Alfred had always viewed her as a sister, Erin knew that. Before she learnt of which way he swung, she'd thought his physical closeness and openness was a sign that he-

"Erin, would you care for a dance." Alfred had materialised beside her, offering his arm. The music called for a slow dance. The other couples were swaying to the music.

It was the dance Erin had been waiting for all evening, she would have loved to dance, loved to pretend that this was her wedding, loved to have Alfred look at her the way he looked at Arthur, was it too late even now?

And then Erin saw Arthur staring at her from across the room. They could always read each other like books and Arthur knew exactly what was going through her head. His expression was one of pleading.

Alfred was still looking at her, expecting his innocent dance. It was just a dance. It couldn't hurt.

Gay.

He was _gay_.

It was wrong.

She was never an option.

But Erin wished she was.

"No." Erin said quietly.

"No?" Alfred asked, confused, head cocked to one side.

Erin stared over at Arthur who was watching them. It was his wedding. She turned to Alfred, taking a deep breath she said, "You should dance with your husband."

Alfred grinned. "Yeah, my husband." It was as though he was finally realising he was married to the man he loved. Alfred dashed over to Arthur, leaving Erin alone.

Erin left the wedding soon after. She couldn't help but wonder why she wasn't crying, she felt sad enough to cry but it just wouldn't come. Erin looked up at the sky, a cloud moved to reveal a half-moon.

Leaving a wedding early was probably rude but it was the right thing to do.

 **Happy Saint Patricks Day. This was something I'd had ready for a while but I decided to upload it on Paddy's Day because (for those of you who don't read The List) Erin is Ireland. This is a human version of a headcannon I have, that Ireland fell in love with America but they never got together because they each had things going on that got in the way and then America and England began getting really close during WW2 and The Cold War so Ireland tried to let go. It's kinda sad.**

 **But hey it's the day celebrating Ireland, St. Patrick and Guinness so have fun and don't do anything too regrettable while drunk.**


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